Communication Skills

Effective communication is essential for a successful sale but is probably one of the most overlooked, underdeveloped skills in professional selling. We cannot take communication for granted simply because we are fluent in the English language-but we do. The cornerstone of effective communication is sensitivity to the needs of others. It begins with an understanding of the communication process. Encoding occurs when a sender translates thoughts into a message. The receiver must decode the message and try to understand what the sender intended to communicate. Communication is effective only when the receiver accurately understands what the sender intended to transmit. Its not uncommon to hear someone say, Yeah, but thats not what I meant or I thought you said this ...

Communication in selling involves more than presenting your product or service; it involves an active, two-way exchange of ideas and thoughts. However, research suggests that in most calls salespeople do up to 60% of the talking. m Wrong thing to do. Remember PEZ, Please Excuse my Zealousness. We often think of ourselves as good communicators because we have the gift of the gab. I know of several people who were encouraged to pursue a career in sales because they were great talkers. We equate speaking with control and power, assuming the spotlight is focused on the talkers rather than the listeners. Our society recognizes and rewards great orators, actors, singers, public speakers, and news commentators who excel at one-way communication. There are lots of books and seminars on developing public speaking skills but when did you ever hear of a seminar on public listening skills? They dont exist. Unfortunately, listening is not the sexy part of the communication model. I would suggest that the biggest violation of the communication model is poor listening skills.

Customer Based Research Conducted by Spectrum Training Solutions Inc.

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Why We Are Poor Listeners

Lazy listening is enormously costly to our success. Most of us think we are good listeners, but that overconfidence may be the reason for our downfall. Nothing puts a sales call in jeopardy faster than poor, inattentive listening. Customers dont take long to get a sense of your listening commitment, especially given the fact that 90% of communication is nonverbal. 121 Thats right, 90%. About 55% is through obvious body language and 35% is by how you say it. 131 Given these overwhelming statistics, its pretty tough to convince the customer that you are listening if in fact youre not.

We listen at about 25% of our potential. We miss, ignore, forget, distort, or misunderstand 75% of what we hearni. Hard to believe perhaps, but true. Given these statistics, we can see why communication breaks down so quickly. The receiver is responding to only 25% of the senders message. 151 Thats why during my seminars I suggest that, In most cases, communication is not part of the conversation. Such lazy listening habits are very costly, to both your business and your personal success.

Improvement begins with an understanding of why people have a natural tendency to be poor listeners. Rather than have you put this book down and promise aloud, I will be a better listener, I offer you the four reasons why we are poor listeners.

1. Our predominant thoughts focus on ourselves and sex. We think of ourselves 24 hours a day-how we look, feel, our personal problems and successes, work, and so on. Even while we sleep. Did you ever have a dream where you werent in it? Probably not. We see ourselves as the most important element of our lives, followed by a natural attraction to sex. Psychologists agree that on average we think of sex consciously or unconsciously every two and a half minutes. We were put on this planet to reproduce, so thank goodness He made it fun. Maslows hierarchy of needs theory reinforces this concept, along with our overwhelming need to be loved and accepted. People will go to great lengths to satisfy those needs. Its no wonder we are poor listeners when sitting with our customers. Our agendas usually take precedence over theirs.

2. Our minds wander. Our minds think approximately eight times faster than we talk. We normally speak at approximately 130 words per minute, we listen and understand at up to 400 words per minute, and we can think at 1,000 words per minute. Unbelievable but true. Heres the dilemma: our customers talk to us at 130 words per minute and we think at 1,000 words per minute. Mental drift is too easy and often results in minimal communication during a conversation. Clearly, it takes tremendous discipline to stay focused on the customers message. By the way, your customers also experience mental drift at a speed of 1,000 words per minute. Chances are good that during a feature dump their minds will wander off somewhere else, perhaps Jamaica or Barbados.

3. We cant wait to reply. Our unbridled enthusiasm to reply sabotages the communication model. We often listen with the sole intent to reply. At the expense of effective listening we formulate a response, at a speed of 1,000 words per minute, before the sender has completed commenting. The second they finish speaking we jump in with what we think is a valid, appropriate response. Our quick response is further fueled by our perceptions and biases as we attempt to decode their message. When you jump in with your quick response, it clearly communicates to the sender that you were not listening, that you were more concerned with your reply rather than understanding the message. It can be very frustrating and irritating when you know the listener is not paying attention and is preoccupied with formulating a response.

Listening is a lot easier when you like the person and agree with the message. The most difficult time to listen is when you disagree with what youre seeing or hearing. Under those conditions, many listeners arent listening at all-theyre preoccupied with drafting a rebuttal. The challenge is to put personal feelings aside and focus on the message. As with effective negotiation, deal with the issues, not the personalities.

A suggestion to help overcome your tendency to offer an immediate reply is to wait two to three seconds before you reply. Let the sender finish her comments, look her in the eye, acknowledge her input with a nod or a verbal sign, then reply. The big plus is that if you wait a moment your customer may start talking again and yes, thats a good thing.

4. We interrupt -a lot. Everybody has an opinion and loves to get his two cents worth in.